Lately I’ve been thinking about the role of kink in relationships — specifically, this relationship between my lover and me. It feels to me like the relationship is more stable and solid when there’s more kinky sex, and vice versa. This bemuses me somewhat since I’ve never placed much weight on how much sex there [...]
Archive for the ‘relationships’ Category
Bug or feature?
Posted in bdsm, relationships on March 15, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Down time
Posted in relationships, self on December 13, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
If I had known then before I courted that love would be such a killing crime I’d locked my heart in a box of gold and tied it up with a silver twine I’ve been no good at writing as of late. I’ve got a number of things to blog about, but my attempts at [...]
Mm, let me re-think…
Posted in bdsm, relationships, self on October 13, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
After that last post wondering about the underlying similarities in 24/7 and ‘just in the bedroom’, I stumbled onto something that might be a qualitative difference (or at least a dimension) after all. I woke up one night, at oh-mumble-hundred AM, stressing out about work stuff… and after dealing with the stress, had a minor [...]
Just in the Bedroom?
Posted in bdsm, politics, relationships on September 23, 2008 | 2 Comments »
Something I’ve been wondering about lately are the boundaries and differences of different BDSM relationships. A rather usual conception seems to be that there’s a definite difference between d/s or 24/7 relationships on the one hand, and ”just in the bedroom” relationships where the participants usually do their play in pre-negotiated scenes, on the other. [...]
These are a few of my favourite things
Posted in bdsm, memes, relationships on September 8, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Mmh. Shitty day, or actually morning. Not because it’s a monday, but because of the aforementioned poly trouble. So what better time to start listing six things that bring me joy today? I’ll update in the evening. 1) fetlife.com, yay! It’s very cool, easy on the eyes, easy to use, comfortably kinky, and has a wealth of [...]
Lust, caution
Posted in bdsm, relationships on September 6, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Lately there have been times when I’ve had trouble entering and staying in subspace when we play. It feels as if there’s a glitch somewhere, so that my lover and I are out of sync, separated more than connected by the scene. I think the glitch is partly in my head, in how I experience submission. Submission [...]
Restless
Posted in bdsm, relationships, self on August 30, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
A lot of things I’d like to write about. Too little focus. — I think the reason I got to value self-discipline and willpower so much was that I’m pretty aggressive underneath all that. I could say that I needed strong will to cage the tiger, so I got used to controlling myself and got used to being [...]
Working the Kinks Out
Posted in bdsm, politics, relationships on August 24, 2008 | 1 Comment »
Well. Life’s been interesting again. In addition to the normal busi/yness of life, I’ve been reading a lot, playing too little, and participating in my second kink party ever. Our poly arrangement is going through a rocky patch, though I’m hopeful that things are getting better now. — At one point in the party I [...]
