Archive for the ‘meta’ Category

Tulips: an interlude

Associating sexuality with flowers of various kinds seems to be an enduring cultural meme. For some elusive reason women’s sexuality especially has been represented via floral symbolism, from the chastity of the white lily to the entrancing rose and the seductive orchid. (I’ll refrain from harping on the annoying overtones of these representations and just note that the passivity implied is no better in the case of the orchid than it is with regard to the lily.)

Bybloemen, then, is also the name of a flower. Specifically, bybloemen are a variety of old English tulips that are “mauve to dark purple/black on a white base and generally appear elegant and restrained”. Whereas the color is often “broken” into feathered patterns (as in the mass market cover of Meyer’s New Moon), the base cultivar is a solid, sensuously dark and rich violet. This color, while not exclusive to the English tulips, is meaningful for me; and it is what makes dark or “black” tulips probably my favourite flower.


Read Full Post »

Hold on honey

I’m more or less back.

After a few months of work on the thesis and on getting my head back on straight (or as straight as it ever was), I’m feeling the need to stretch out in more ways. From planning RPG campaigns, to taking up a new sport or dance, to ranting to y’all about stuff. It’s rather liberating feeling, though scary as well. Cocoons are kind of comfortable even when dark and dreary.

I’m a little confused about where to start, though.  A “mess” is surely the proper collective noun for the thoughts and ideas spinning through my mind.

I’d want to rant about the oversexed framing of female submission and the assumption that differently-gendered couples necessarily structure their interaction according to that kind of model. I’d want to rant about the construction of femininity, and the infuriating pressure for people with XX chromosome pair to fulfill that role (and the pressure for people with XY chromosome pair to reject those “feminine” qualities in themselves even as they’re expected to lust after them in the XX people). I’d want to muse about the different payoffs of BDSM, and the ways in which payoff is connected with structure for me. I’d need to write about the (to me, very natural) connections of BDSM and role-playing of the non-sexual kind, so that I could look at the qualities of immersion I seek in those interactions.

Maybe I can roll a die.

Read Full Post »


I decided to move over to WordPress, and I’m already feeling much more at home than over on Livejournal. I may keep fiddling with the design for a bit still. Link list is lagging, too, since I didn’t manage to import my bookmarks trivially.

Hope all of (the handful of) you enjoy this space as well!

Read Full Post »

So, a new blog.

I figured I’d like to have a place where I can talk/rant/muse about the more alternative aspects of my life, without boring all my friends in RL. I don’t know, yet, what exactly I’ll want to write here, so I make no promises about topic or sensibility. Educated guesses as to the former might include poly, kink, d/s, and the politics of them; submission, switchiness, gender issues and feminism. You know.

I identify as a thirtyish woman, at least for some values of being a woman, and a feminist. I’m involved in a poly arrangement where both of my lovers have an another SO as well. I’m used to having a stable sense of self, and lately I’ve been bemused by needing to come to terms with what kink (and specifically submission) means to me.

Intellectual curiosity is important to me, and I’m more or less enjoying the process of deepening my understanding of the world we live in by e.g. writing my doctoral thesis. At least for some value of ‘enjoying’.

Oh yeah, and I play role-playing games, read sf, and prefer a vegetarian diet.


Read Full Post »